The Golden State of Mind

These are clips, stories, feelings, dreams, and thoughts from my life. The items here are true. Some names have been left out or changed for privacy purposes. Caution, some posts are intense. This is Me, RAW.

You say, I say.

You say you have fallen in love.
I say you have fallen on your head.

You say you’d give anything for my love.
I say you’d take anything just to feel love.

You say your knees shake when I kiss you.
I say your knees shake with any cool breeze.

You say what we have is unique and timeless.
I say what we have is purely physical and mindless.

You say you have images of us conquering the world.
I say you need to read a few books and drink some water.

The Needy Fellas.

Some fellas love to complain about how girls don’t recognize what a great catch they are. They go on and on bad mouthing girls who won’t return their call or text back. These guys can’t stand to be alone. They feel uneasy being with themselves. They have an irrational need to be around a girl.

If by some chance they happen to get lucky, they will spend the next day overly content with themselves. Bragging about the new notch. Then, 24 hours later they need attention again.

What these guys don’t realize is that they are pushing those same girls away with their annoying need for attention. These guys lack a self identity. How can they expect a girl to want to be around a guy who has no clue who he is?

If you are one of these guys, stop being so fucking needy. Spend some time figuring out who you are. You’d be surprised how awesome you already are, but just don’t realize it because you’re too busy chasing female attention. When you are happy with yourself and proud with who you are, true ladies will recognize it.

The next time you are alone for a whole day and feel uneasy with it, have a conversation with yourself. Speak to yourself out loud if you need to. Ask yourself what makes YOU unique and what YOU are passionate about and what makes YOU worthy of yourself.

You’ll soon realize that you need yourself more than you need anyone else. This will make you respect yourself and by default will prevent you from landing on the bed of a random girl who may not deserve you.

In fact, when the right girl does come into your life, she will recognize you because of your strong self identity. And, you will recognize her for having great taste in men.

How Peaceful It Is

How peaceful it is
when I’m finally alone in my room
with the door closed and the light off.

How peaceful it is
when the glow of this computer screen
distracts me from you
and that curve of your hip
that leads to your ass
gift wrapped in black lace.

How peaceful it is
when I’m heavy with sleep
and my only companion
is my misplaced remote
and the old drool on my pillow.

Taken 1/20/14 with HTC Amaze phone in San Jose, CA.

Taken 1/20/14 with HTC Amaze phone in San Jose, CA.

Motives

She wanted to know my motives.

When this beautiful woman,
whose thighs have wrapped me in the dark,
locks her deep pained eyes with mine,
my midnight world explodes with rays of light.
I regain the ability to be me in an unoriginal world.
She does that to me.
Such amazing things become possible,
when this beautiful woman
crushes every single fear with a smile.
I don’t know if I’ll love her in a year,
but I know I loved her now,
until she interrupted me
by asking for motives.

Woman and Her Dreamer.

There’s a beautiful woman.
She walks the streets at night,
with a hole in her heart.
Her love will soon leave her behind.

There’s a sleepless dreamer.
He can only offer passion,
but they ask for his heart.
If only love could change his mind.

Relentless Thoughts

Thoughts scratch my skull from the inside. They’re trying to escape into fruition. They believe their time has come and would like me to display them to the world much like the moon displays the sun. The more I try to ignore them the louder they get. I try to fill my mind with something else, but they invade like a plague. They take over like a Roman army against a small village. I turn to one side of the bed then the other. I lay in every direction, but the thoughts refuse to get extinguished. They burn like a fire through a dry hill top. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve reached my limit. I open my eyes wide into the darkness of my room and scream in silence and for a moment, my thoughts stop. We sit there in silence for a few long seconds, then I apologize to them because they are right. I’ve waited long enough. It’s time for me to become the me I said I would be.

Midnight Sky

I looked up at the sky just now.
For a second I realized the beauty of this world
I was about to make a promise to the stars
that I’d never forget about them again.

Then my phone vibrated
It was you
yelling about some trash I forgot to take out.

Peaceful Night.

How peaceful the night
when she’s not around

to ask you for proof
of love for her mind

When all you can see
is her behind.

Your big eyes.
My hand on your thighs.
I had to leave behind.
To avoid the lies.