The Golden State of Mind

The Perfect Girl Challenge.

As an assignment, my professor made us create a list of ten qualities we believe the person we love should have. I had no idea what to write. So I decided to create the list from country songs.

1. Looks good in cheap sunglasses.
2. Calls up momma when all else fails.
3. Likes a little something on the Rocks.
4. Sinks to her nose in a bubble bath.
5. Loves her pair of running shoes.
6. Fighter when she’s mad.
7. Lover when she’s loving.
8. Steals the covers.
9. Drags me to the dance floor when her song is on.
10. Knows she can melt me with a smile.

Letter to You

I want to write to you to explain.
This isn’t my goodbye.
I just had to close the door for a bit.
Keep in mind that my passion is you.
I want you to stick around.
This break is almost over and then
I’ll love you forever, single life.

Floating Down Your River

My phone screen lights up. It’s you.
My eyes stay open with hopes of you.
I tell you to come over and lay down with me.
You agree, and so I wonder who has rejected you tonight.

The knock on my door is loud and delicate.
You hug me for a while, wet with rain.
You lead me to my upstairs bedroom as if it was your own.
I take off your clothes and touch your perfect body,
hoping this time I will touch your heart too.

And yes, you’re half crazy.
But, that’s what makes me want you.
I find I always crave your touch.
And, I know you crave touch too, but not mine.
Now you lay in bed beside me, and tell me of your dreams.

I can hear the rain outside,
but inside, I’m floating down your river.
And, I’ve touched your perfect body,
hoping this time I have touched your heart too.

Heart to Heart

I had a conversation with my heart. I asked him if he had any pride left in him. He told me a girl had nearly taken it all.

I asked him why he had allowed this to happen. He told me the beautiful bandit surprised him on the road he traveled. He told me she was disguised behind her brown eyes and bright lips.

I asked him what he was going to do. He told me that the bandit caused a detour on his travels, but the roads would soon meet back up. He told me that pride is his fuel and that he would replace the missing fuel with empty kisses, just to keep going.

Nothing to Write About You.

I spent a long time trying to figure out what to write that would show you how I feel. I wanted to think of something creative, like a poem or a song lyric. I kept staring at a blank screen with all these feelings in me and no words to express them. Typing, deleting and retyping. I started thinking about where I am and the road that brought me here and then back to you. The word “Love” is to strong to use, but the word “like” doesn’t do you justice.

I’d recently lost a love and my heart had been homesick ever since. You came along and smiled at me, so the idiot inside of me started thinking about the what ifs. I was sure we had places to go together. It was a beautiful dream. But, I was abruptly awaken. Now I’m stuck feeling like I lost something again. The problem is that I never had you and if anyone asks, you never had me. But, you did.

The Absent One.

She still thinks of me.
She still has feelings.
She sent me a letter.
She wants to know why
I’ve abandoned her.

She still thinks of me.
True unconditional love.
I don’t deserve her thoughts.
I deserve her hate.
I’ve caused her pain.

She still thinks of me.
She still has feelings.
She sent me a letter.
She wants to know why
I’ve abandoned her.

Lost a Game.

I’ve lost a game I wasn’t even playing.
I’m not sure how it happened.
I’m sitting alone in a corner with a room full of strangers.
I’m trying to figure out how I’ve been blindsided by these feelings.

I’ve lost a game I wasn’t even playing.
I’m going through memories I didn’t know I had created.
I’m supposed to be the winner in these types of scenarios.
I’m here hugging something that never was.

I’ve lost a game I wasn’t even playing.

What is Love?

What is love?
A trap for dreamers to have nightmares.

What is love?
A chance for big hearts to turn black and cold.

What is love?
The evil disguised in promises of loyalty and trust.

What is love?
The risk I will take just to be close to you.

I Like(d) a Girl

I like a girl.
I won’t tell her.
I am scared she won’t feel the same.
I resist showing her that she’s the one for me.

I like a girl.
I play games.
I pretend I don’t care.
I talk about other girls as if I could like another.

I like a girl.
I consider telling her.
I lack the confidence to look her in her eyes.
I change my mind and call another girl to take her place instead.

I like a girl.
I tell myself I don’t.
I feel she doesn’t feel the same way anyway.
I liked a girl.

NIghts Like Tonight

I miss you tonight.
There are days when I don’t even remember what you look like.
Then, there are nights like tonight.

I remember making you laugh,
Then interrupting that laughter with a kiss.
I love to hate nights like tonight.

I haven’t spoken to you in so long.
I wonder if my memories even happened.
What do you do on nights like tonight?